Turning Around
by Empty Lorelai
Summary: The final chapter, chapter 10 is up.Lorelai and Luke struggle their way to a happy medium.
1. Hurt

Turning Around

A/N: I know what you're thinking. Another fiction Lily won't finish. But I am working on the second chapter of The Mystery, but I need a good beta.

Some notes, before you read this: Yes, I am already writing a fic about the end of this season, and the beginning of the next. This is my prediction of what might happen, no spoilers. Promise. Really. I do. Swear. I'll also warn you, that this fiction is probably the weirdest I've ever written before. So you better damn enjoy it. Just kidding, hate it if you'd like, I can twist my art however the hell I'd like. With some boundaries of course. Okay, so, do you want me to keep rambling, or shall we start the story? So this is Lily's crazy episode 5-22.

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It had been raining all damn month. Damn rain. Damn Chris. Damn Luke. No, strike that last one. Don't damn Luke. She loved Luke. Of course, Chris had to go and ruin it, and Luke had to go and be the stupid friggin' hero. Then she had to turn around and end up with no one. Fuck 'em all. Except for Luke. No, fuck Luke. She already had. No more fucking Luke. Oh fuck. She really needed to get out of the house.

Lorelai was in a crisis. No doubt about it. She had spent four days wallowing. Funds were dwindling, and Joe's would eventually cut her off. In fact before she barricaded herself in her little town Taylor had banned her from his ice cream store. Well, fuck Taylor. Eeww...Don't fuck Taylor. Strike the fucking Taylor, but up the fucking Luke dosage. Good plan. If only Luke wanted to fuck her. If only Luke was close enough to fuck her.

Luke was gone. Luke was history. But not only that, Luke was gone. A week ago he had left, a week ago her heart had been broken, a week ago she'd been five pounds lighter. Chris had insisted they go out for dinner, to discuss something. Little had she known it was to discuss 'them.' She'd told him there were no them. Later that night, he'd caught up with her on the way to Luke's. He'd begged her; Luke had seen it all. Ten minutes later she reached Luke's confused, and Luke sat down next to her. "You guys have a kid together," he told her, "If there's even a little chance, I don't want to be the guys who gets in front of that. I shouldn't interfere, no matter how old she is, she's still your daughter. Maybe we shouldn't do this, anyways. I can tell you've been withdrawn ever since he came back. I'm going to leave Stars Hollow. I promised the town I would." Lorelai looked down to the ground, this wasn't happening. She begged for an hour, but he wouldn't.

That night she safely reached home, and broke down into sobs. She felt more suicidal than ever. If she had a gun, she probably would've blown herself into fucking outer space. Would've been better than where she was. She searched everywhere, nothing to kill herself with. Like she would've done it anyways. 'I need a cat to ward off these thoughts. Cats solve everything.' Lorelai thought to herself. She found an exacto knife, maybe she'd be a cutter, maybe cutting was for her. Maybe she was crazy. Or not sane. Deep...

She took it for a moment, looking at her arm, her perfect porcelain arm, Luke had broken up with her...To think a day ago she was happy. Fuck happiness. She took the exacto knife and pierced it into the skin. It bleed, and for a moment Lorelai felt something rushing out of her. She still felt incredibly depressed. Cutting wasn't for her, no way. She put it away, and picked up the phone, tears quickly coming from her eyes. "Luke broke up with me twenty minutes ago." She said as soon as Rory picked up, Lorelai explained why, and she could hear sympathy mixed with anger in Rory's voice. Why was Rory angry? At Chris, apparently. "Mom...Are you okay? I'm coming home, just stay calm, okay? Get some chocolate, or coffee." Lorelai nodded. "Okay."

That night when Rory came she found Lorelai in a ball on the couch. She spotted the bloody exacto knife in the sink, and the scar on her mothers arm. "Mom...Its not that bad, why'd you do that?" Lorelai looked to the ground, and then looked up to Rory, "I don't know." And that's what Luke did to her. He confused her, he confused her like hell, and he depressed her.

* * *

Lorelai woke up on the couch, to the ringing phone. She groaned, "Get out of bed already, Lorelai. You haven't been to work since Luke left. If you're not here in a half hour you'll be dragged into the inn in your pajama's missy." Said Sookie perkily. Lorelai moaned in acknowledgement. She got into a dark suit, brushed her hair and studied herself in the mirror. She was a little chubbier than usual. She looked depressed, her hair was sort of messy.

The wind was blowing; it was still raining. Her hair blew in all different directions as she climbed into the jeep. Luke felt like a ghost to her, she'd told Chris to get the hell away from her. She felt so weird, so different. 'What's wrong with you, Gilmore? This is crazy.' She was starting from square one again, she had to find someone again, and she had to date, again. She'd fuck it and buy some cats, but she was pretty sure she was allergic. And she really didn't like cats. Maybe a dog? Too goddamn needy.

She reached the inn in five minutes, and sat in the car for five, then finally got the motivation to open the car door. Sookie came out of the inn and greeted her with a warm hug, "It'll be okay, I promise." She whispered to Lorelai, she just nodded in Sookies shoulder. Sookie lead her into the inn, it was still standing, Michel stood in front of the desk and gave her a weak smile. Dean was working on the floors in the study, apparently they needed a good sanding. Dean and Rory had broken up, it had been mutual and now Rory was apparently with Logan, an asshole from Yale. But he made Rory happy. Dean gave her a wink. Luke had left her, and everyone knew it. Babette and Patty stood up during their lunch and hugged her tightly. "Oh doll..." Babette whispered. Lorelai just stared down at the ground during all of this.

Finally Lorelai was left alone in her office, and she had to admit it felt good to work again, it felt good to be slightly normal again. She sighed and looked up for a moment...Was she off because... Was she? She jumped up and immediately got her purse rushing off to the nearest drug store that wasn't in Stars Hollow.

A half hour later Lorelai was sitting on her toilet. She picked up the stick, and saw how bright blue it was. Tears cascaded down her cheeks, she was pregnant, and he was gone.

A/N: That's where ASP would fade out, and it would say written by Amy Sherman Palladino. So next chapter will be episode 601.


	2. Letter

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Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, so no need to sue! Oh, and I don't own the whole beggining paragraph idea thing.

A/N: Ha, okay I've got another chapter guys, I spent my precious time on this, so please read and review.

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_Lorelai was freezing. She was on a giant door in the middle of the Atlantic, Luke's hands were in hers and she was covered with frost. Under her was the sunken Titanic, it had sank an hour before, and there they were, freezing cold. Thousands of others struggled with the water, but Luke had insisted she take the safe, warmer place. Her eyes were looking into his, piercing into each others, until his slowly closed. "Luke..." she whispered, her voice was soft and scared, freezing because her teeth were chattering so hard, "Wake up...Wake up, Luke." But he was dead, "The boats are coming, I can hear them, they're going to rescue us." She whispered, but instantly she knew, he was dead, frozen, and slowly her hands let go of him. "Come baacckk..."_

Someone was shaking Lorelai from her sleep, "Mom! Mom! What happened, I heard you whispering something..." Rory was shaking her. Lorelai was four months along now, Luke had been gone for four months. "You wanted him to come back..." she nodded, sitting up now.

"I had a dream." She said softly, Rory nodded, "The doctor is in." Taking a deep breath, Lorelai's mouth opened, the words coming off her tongue slowly. "I was laying in the middle of the Atlantic, on a door, like in the Titanic, Luke was with me, he was in the water, we were freezing...And he froze, I let him sink." She said almost starting to cry. Rory looked in concern at her mother, Lorelai looked so much in pain... But mostly, Lorelai looked afraid, afraid to raise another kid alone. She pushed Lorelai back down to the pillow. "Relax, drama queen. Maybe it means you're ready to let him go, or maybe it's the opposite. Maybe you're not ready to let him go." Lorelai smiled, sitting back up. "Thanks, kid." Rory laughed.

"Mom, you know you need to find him...Before this baby is born. You have 5 months, I know...Just...Think about it." Lorelai nodded, looking as if she were going to cry again. "I know." She said, "I need sleep, you do too. You have to go back to school tomorrow." Rory nodded, "But the weekends been fun." Rory watched as her mother sunk back into her bed, closing her eyes, "It has." Rory grinned, and left the room, turning off the light before she left.

When Lorelai woke up, she changed, and prepared for another empty day. The house was emptier without Rory, a single note left on the kitchen table.

_Mom,_

_Ah! I woke up late! Shit! My shirts backwards! Okay...Try to reach him sometime, okay? Love ya'! Damnit...Wrong shoes, wrong feet._

_Rory_

Of course. She wanted Lorelai to reach him. How the hell was she supposed to reach him? Where the hell would a flannel-clad, sexy beast hide anyways?

* * *

Luke was cold, and tired, and wet when he came to Liz's apartment. Four weeks of a smelly cabin on the lake would do that to someone. He came with fish, and little money, and he smelled really bad. It was all because of her, he hated her...Of course he loved her. After three months of living in a cheap motel Luke had decided the cabin would save the rest of his meager funds, but he'd forgotten that the cabin hadn't had a shower. So here he was, at his little sister's doorstep, asking for some shelter.

What was he kidding? Lorelai was pretty, sweet, and deadly. She could kill with one look. That's what she did to him, she killed him, slowly, over eight long years he was reeled in, and four months ago she fried him. It was all Chris's fault. As he watched Lorelai and Chris get closer when he reappeared it occurred to him that he should get out to save himself from any hurt. And that went haywire. She was probably cheating on him, anyway. Whore. Slut. Bitch. No. She wasn't any of those, she was kind and generous, and she was hardly a slut.

Liz looked over her older brother. Finally, Luke Danes had turned into a normal, hurting, human being. But when he took on this form, she also saw he'd fallen apart, he'd broken down. He was asking her for help, asking her for shelter. And she'd be the loving, providing sister, who'd do it.

"Hey...Uh, T.J! T.J!" she called a little nervously, when her husband came running into the room he surveyed Luke. "Whoa...Um, who died?" Liz looked to T'J, "Honey, take Luke's bags into the living room, Luke, you can sleep on the couch until you can get back on your feet." Luke nodded meekly. 'This is the beginning of the end.' Liz thought as she showed Luke her small apartment, closing the door behind her.

* * *

Lorelai wasn't thinking. She couldn't think about anything but trying to contact Luke again on her way to work, during the inn, and finally on her way back. As she passed the diner, she looked inside, then took the spare key she knew she'd been hiding in her purse, opened, and went in the dark diner. The chairs sat on top of the tables, she took one down and looked around. Then, went up to the empty apartment, somehow left on the desk was a paper, and she found a pen lying around in the diner, sitting back down she thought a while, then started to write.

_Luke,_

_I'm not even sure you'll ever read this. In fact, I'm not sure of a lot right now. For all I know, you could be in the middle of the Atlantic, scuba diving...Well, if this does ever reach you then..._

_What happened four months ago, is not forgotten, we are still broken up as ever, and you are still free to be gone when I tell you this but...Luke, I'm pregnant. Four months actually, and I know your thoughts are, 'it's probably Chris's, little slut was sleeping with him all along, I knew it!' But I wasn't. The only man who I was sleeping with was...you. So you're going to be a father, but only if you want to be._

_Luke, I don't want to ask you to do something that you can't do, or something you just don't want to do. Your decision to come back, or not come back is all yours. To have control over someone's life is a huge responsibility, so don't come back if you're not ready for it._

_As much as I want to beg you to come back, because I miss you, I can't. But I do, I miss you, and I think you should know that too. I miss you so much...It's crazy that I miss you, because when you broke up with me it caused so much pain, and I'm still hurt, but I'd rather have you here, breaking my heart._

_Lorelai_

Lorelai looked to the ground for a moment, letting tears she had needed to let fall down for so long come. Her mascara had run by the time she was finished crying. Slowly she put the chair back on the table, and walked out of the diner, and into the night.

An hour later she stood at the mailbox, Liz's address in New York on the envelope. If that letter had a chance to get to him, that chance was Liz. She put her hands lightly on her stomach, closing her eyes, focusing on her baby, and then opened them again slipping the envelope in the mailbox.

* * *

Two weeks after Luke had showed up on her doorstep Liz collected the mail, all junk and bills except for one. It was addressed to Luke, but the return address scared her most, Lorelai, someone who had turned into a ghost to Luke. She shivered, and then set it down on the couch so Luke would find it. He was out again, trying to find a job.

New York City did not have jobs. It was all out of them. Luke had searched for three hours each day, but there was still nothing. He trudged back up to the apartment, said a small "hi" as he opened the door, and then made his way to the couch where he'd left the job listings. But on top of the paper was letter, from Lorelai. He braced himself, and slowly opened it, afraid of what could be inside.

After reading the letter more times than he could count, he still wasn't sure what to do or think. Lorelai was pregnant, and she missed him. In the letter, she sounded so vulnerable, so much he wanted more than anything to go back. He stuffed the letter in his pocket, and then took it back out, staring at it again. 'I miss you.' He sighed, and stuffed the rest of his things in his duffel bag. He took a deep breath, and faced Liz, "Lorelai's pregnant, and I'm going back to Stars Hollow." He told her.

Liz looked at him in shock. Of all the things that letter could've said, it was that. His ex was pregnant... "How very 'Days of Our Lives'..." she said not sure what to say, he gave her a weak smile, and she stood up, hugging him. "Thank you, Liz." She nodded, "Anytime, be careful out there, okay?" he laughed nervously and nodded.

Luke found his way back to Stars Hollow quickly, back into the diner, and as he drove through the town he realized how much he'd missed Stars Hollow, that no matter how long he was away it was too much a part of him to let go. The lights flickered on, just as his life was turning back on.

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A/N: La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la...And that's where it'd fade out and Sam Phillips would start singing. Read and review!


	3. Memory

Chapter 3: Turning Around

A/N: For all of those who have reviewed so far, thank you so much! I know I've been updating Saturday nights, so I'm late but it's been a stressful week so...Also, for those who've forgotten this would be episode 6-02....

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_"When a relationship dies, do we ever really give up the ghosts or are we forever haunted by spirits of relationships past?"_

-Carrie, from_ Sex and the City_

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"So how long has Luke been back in town?" Rory asked her mother as they strolled into the increasingly busy Dragonfly Inn. Lorelai's five months pregnant stomach had started to show only a week ago, and she was still incredibly coy about the whole situation. Lorelai sighed. 

"A few days." She mumbled, Rory looked to her mom, a little shocked she hadn't told her daughter any of this. "So...When were you going to tell me?"

"Now..." she said guiltily. "I'm still having trouble dealing with this whole thing." There was a long pause as Rory tried to figure out what to say. "So...Does he..." Lorelai shrugged, "Does he know about...what's growing in my uterus?" Rory nodded. "I don't know. I wrote him a letter and sent it to Liz, this could mean he got it, and I've walked by there...Of course, he may only think I got fat." Rory laughed a little.

"Do you know; boy or girl?" Lorelai nodded and simply said, "Both." She was walking away, when she realized Rory hadn't moved an inch, "Twins...Mom..." Lorelai nodded again. Rory contemplated this for a while; her mother was so mellow as a pregnant woman. Lorelai was still crazy, but a mellow crazy. "When are you going to talk to Luke?" she finally asked as they resumed walking.

"I don't know...Later." Lorelai said softly, she was so scared to talk to Luke, what would he think of all this? What if he didn't know? How would he react? A million questions were flooding her brain. Damn, having children out of wedlock was complicated. And one would think that you would learn from the first time, but not Lorelai Gilmore who was confused as ever. Rory looked at her mom skeptically; Lorelai did not have this handled.

"Mom! You have to talk to him soon, you need to make plans, do something! This is huge, and you should do this right." Rory said annoyed at her mom's ignorance to all of this, unaware of what thoughts were invading Lorelai's mind.

Lorelai turned to Rory, "So how's Logan?" Rory blushed, looked to the ground and they ate lunch silently. Logan...was a whole different story, he and Rory had a huge fight, in fact, perhaps the author will write a sequel to this about Rory and Logan.

Lorelai found the kitchen as soon as Rory left, "Chocolate!!" she called out loudly. Sookie smiled, "Exactly what I was thinking!" her pregnant friend exclaimed. Looking at the two women was a funny sight; they even had pregnancies together, as they looked around the giant gleaming refrigerator for something resembling chocolate. Sookie, of course was further along than Lorelai, 4 months further...Which made Lorelai even more nervous, she still had to find a temporary replacement for her master chef.

"So...Lu-"Lorelai knew exactly what she was about to say, "I know, and no Sookie, I'm not sure when I'm going to see him..." Sookie sighed, and then tried to open her mouth again, but of course Lorelai knew when to cut her off, "And I'm not sure if he knows." Sookie sighed, tilting her head at her friend. _'This is getting out of hand.'_ Lorelai thought as she looked longingly at the coffee.

* * *

Luke sighed, the favorite part of his day was coming...She was wearing a pea coat, and simple corduroy pants, her pregnancy was already showing. He stared at the book he was reading, _What to Expect When you're Expecting,_ he was trying so hard to learn about pregnancy and help Lorelai out. Kirk looked up, then noticed the book, "No wonder you've gained weight, Luke." Luke put his hands to his side, and gave a long, deep sigh.

* * *

For a long moment after Luke rang the doorbell his eyes were closed, was she even there? Was he under so much stress for nothing? Then it opened, and for a long time they just stared at each other.

He was there. Luke was on her front step, staring at her, waiting for her to say something. Why did she have to say the first words? The ball was completely in his court, she would stay silent for however long he stayed silent. And then he spoke. "So uh...Hi." He said. She smiled, then started to laugh, and so did he, "Why are we laughing?" she asked... "Because this seems crazy." He laughed, she nodded in agreement.

They had made it into the house...That was good, right? They were sitting at the kitchen table, Lorelai was drinking decaf, and Luke was drinking tea. They hadn't said very much to each other, both very unsure of what to say.

"So...We need a plan here." Lorelai said softly, "And before we plan anything, um....I think you should know that um, it's twins...Boy and a girl." He nodded, looking at the ground, "That's a lot of babies..." he said, she nodded.

"Anyway, I was thinking that for the first few weeks I want to breast feed, and I've got maternity leave, and I know you have the diner so...Yeah. Unless you don't want to be involved, because I..." he cut her off.

"I want to be involved." He said, then continued, "And I think your plan for now sounds fine...Also, please stop by the diner, so I can feed you, and them...I want to follow the pregnancy, okay?" she nodded, and they smiled at each other.

She followed him to the door; it was sort of weird because even now they remembered the kisses that would follow this moment, Luke standing in the doorway. He almost leaned in, but then remembered.

Lorelai sighed; the only time they hadn't kissed was that night...The night before he left.

_"Slut!" he was slurring, she could tell that much...He was drunk. "You're sleeping with him, I know it!" he yelled. Lorelai shook her head, "We kissed once, Luke...And I realized how stupid it was the moment we pulled away! It can't end this way!" she pleaded._

_"Bullshit, Lorelai! All of it! In fact, this is usually how a relationship ends...When someone forsakes someone; I'm guessing fidelity is one of your many weaknesses!" he yelled angrily, his voice slurred, and pausing as the words struggled to roll off his tongue. She shivered, looking down._

_"Leave tonight, and I'll stop by the diner tomorrow, we can talk this over when you're sober." She said, feeling incredibly defeated and depressed. He sighed, "You'll have to wait a long time for that, whore!" he yelled again, she turned around, not wanting to watch him leave; tears were rolling down her cheeks._

_She came the next morning, but he was gone, and she knew she really would have to wait for that conversation for a long time. This time she didn't even cry, she turned around, and left._

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_

Lorelai wanted to cry at the memory, she wished she could've gone back in time, and slapped Chris...Or slapped herself. She shut her eyes, then realized something- Friday night!

In ten minutes she was changed and ready, and when she arrived at the Gilmore house she stood out there for a while, she was late, and it looked like Rory was too. Her parents were back together, and they knew about being pregnant. Surprisingly they hadn't asked about it, the first night they freaked out, of course, even more when they found out Luke wasn't in Stars Hollow, then things simmered down, and they asked very curtly every dinner, "So, how are you doing? How's the baby?" and that was it.

Emily opened the door before Lorelai was even able to reach for the doorbell, "You're late, Rory can't come, get in..." she said grabbing Lorelai's shoulder. Something was up with Emily Gilmore... They went to the drink cart where Richard was making something...Martinis? He poured three glasses, "Dad, I can't drink martinis." Richard nodded, "I know."

What was going on here? This was too weird for the Gilmore's. "But dad who is the extra glass for?" then she saw, "Hi, Lor..." he said softly.

A/N: Please read and review! I love my reviews, and my reviewers!


	4. Hope

Lorelai's eyes threatened to fill with tears when Christopher appeared. He looked so sad, so lost…She couldn't help to feel sorry for the poor guy. Of course, he had also unintentionally sabotaged the least destructive, most perfect relationship she had ever had. She sighed, wiping off her unseen tears. "Chris…" she whispered, she didn't even notice she was shaking.

Rory did. Her mother looked so scared of what to say to him. She had told him to stay out of Lorelai's way, she told him not to go near her, not to ruin her…But he had, Chris had ruined Lorelai, he'd ruined all the good things in Lorelai's life, her mom was facing single parent-dom because of him! Suddenly she stood up, just as Lorelai sat back down, staring at her food, very quietly, she turned to her grandparents, "What is wrong with you, why did you invite him here?" she asked angrily.

Emily looked at Rory, her face was angry and distressed, and Lorelai was poking at her food like a child, about to cry…Wait, she was crying. That's when she realized when she had tried to heal their dysfunctional family, they were only making it worse, and her daughter's heart was in so many pieces on the floor, she thought Chris would pick them up, but his presence only stepped on them. She sighed, and looked to Rory, "I don't know." She whispered.

Richard looked at the faces, around the table, Rory was angry as hell, Emily looked confused and Lorelai was crying. He needed Chris to fix his family, but all he was doing was taking them apart. Lorelai needed a father for this child, and Luke was hardly an option, he hadn't even been there for her first few months. He was still gone to who the hell knows where. "I do! Lorelai, do you think you can do this alone, again? Chris is single, and he needs a family just as you do." He said slamming his fist on the table.

Chris couldn't stop staring at Lorelai, her body was shaking with fear, and tears cascaded down her cheeks, the rosy color in them had drained. He was doing all this, he was hurting her. But before he could move, or say anything Lorelai slammed her napkin down on the kitchen table and stormed away, he could hear as the door slammed. He took a deep breath, and looked to Richard, "I think I should go now, Mr. Gilmore, Mrs. Gilmore…I hope you can forgive me." He said looking at Rory. As he left he noticed Lorelai's Jeep was still there. Peering through the window he saw her, her head was on the steering wheel her body shaking even harder as she sobbed. He turned around; he didn't even want to try anymore.

* * *

Lorelai took her head off the steering wheel of the Jeep after a long time, just sobbing it all out. She watched as Chris's motorcycle drove off into the distance. She didn't even get that pain she used to when he left her. She didn't love him anymore; maybe she had months ago, but not anymore. She hadn't even told Luke she had loved him, when she knew she should've. She still did, she loved him so much she didn't think she'd ever stop loving him. She turned the key to her Jeep and rode the long, lonely ride away from Hartford, to Stars Hollow.

* * *

It was Friday night. He knew exactly where she was, and he was fighting as hard as he could to go after her. He couldn't take that risk, if he did he'd be putting himself out there. That wasn't an option. He sighed and heard as the phone rang. "Hello?" he muttered, although as soon as he picked the phone up he wished he hadn't answered it.

"Hey Luke… I was just calling to see if everything was…Uh, alright. So uh, Liz told me about Lorelai…You two broke up?" So Jess didn't even know that Lorelai was pregnant. He sighed, and nodded, "Yeah, we did. It just wasn't working anymore." He said, he told that to everyone, concealing his real motive for breaking up. It was too embarrassing, that his girlfriend had fell in love with the father of her child. Well, now he was going to have a kid more than Chris. Ha.

"Oh…Well…It's good your back in Stars Hollow. Liz was worried." He said, it annoyed the hell out of Luke that Jess wouldn't refer to Liz as his mom. "Stop calling your mom Liz, Jess." He took a deep breath, "Anyway, it seems Lorelai and I can't be completely separated. She's pregnant. With twins." He heard laughing coming from Jess's end.

"Smart ass." He muttered, hanging up.

* * *

Lorelai woke up the next morning, feeling a little better. Her breakdown last night had been one of several breakdowns. Luckily, she could use the best excuse in the world, everyone just automatically assumes when you're pregnant you're crazy and emotional. Lorelai was always crazy, but when pregnant she was pretty mellow, when she was with Rory people thought she had been doing marijuana. The world had too many idiots. _And thank God for that_, she thought slowly crawling out of bed.

She was mellow, of course until she realized no coffee. She'd be cranky for several hours after this. She sighed and got changed, and of course the outfit she had wanted to wear was in a heap at the bottom of her closet, dirty. She got into her Jeep, and even though it was awkward, slowly she stepped into the diner.

"She looks like a fawn, trying to walk." Babette whispered to Patty as Lorelai searched for a table, wearily. "What fawn gets knocked up by her ex-boyfriend?" asked Patty bewildered at the presence of Lorelai. Finally, she found the smallest table in a peaceful corner of the diner.

She could see the entire diner watching her as she looked around. She sighed and started to stare out the window. She shut her eyes tightly, then opened them. 1… she thought as a kid with a beanie passed by _Pass…. 2…. Taylor. Eew!!! 3…._ She looked at Luke who was standing over her and smiled inside.

Luke spotted Lorelai as soon as she walked in. He picked up the coffee pot, and then put it back down almost thinking it was the old days. He was not ready for this; sure they had talked pretty civilly. And he had asked her to stop by the diner. She looked a little cranky. _Of course she's cranky, she's deprived of her addiction _he thought grabbing his order pad and walking to her table. She stared out the window as if she was expecting someone. He could tell she wasn't. After a long moment of standing in front of her, she looked over to him. "Oh. Hey…Sorry." She said softly. "Um…I guess…Orange juice, and a muffin. And pancakes. Oh! And could you put bacon on the side, and toast?" he smiled and nodded.

"Coming right up." If it was the old times, he'd tell her how un-healthy it was. But of course, he did not want to upset her, after all she was a crazy, emotional pregnant woman carrying twins. That sounded lethal, and with Lorelai he was pretty sure it would be. He carried her order to her, then sat down and gave her a little smile. "So…Uh, everything's okay with them right? Nothings wrong, right?" he asked.

"No Luke, I'm carrying alien babies."

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A/N: No, Lorelai is not carrying aliens for those who aren't sure Lorelai is being sarcastic. I'm so sorry if this chapter was a little short. 


	5. Woah

Turning Around

Chapter 5

A/N: Hey! I'm back! I am so sorry about the lack of updates, I promise to be more vigilant about updating. As long as you guys promise to be more vigilant with your reviewing (hint, hint). Anyways, without further ado…

Oh wait the disclaimer…

Disclaimer: I promised these nice people a chapter, and I have to get it to them so let's be quick! I don't own the characters! Or MM's!

So further ado… (I mean it this time)

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And that's how it was, each day things got easier, less awkward until he became her angel again, and she became his junkie. By the time the witty banter was completely back on track she was in her seven month. They were flirting, smiling, he disapproved her eating habits. 

One day, Lorelai sat at the counter; her eyes were on the coffee pot. "No." Luke said, "I know what you're thinking, and no." Lorelai looked up to him with her puppy dog eyes, "Please!" she pleaded, "I need it, without coffee who am I?"

"Slightly more mellow, and pregnant." She sighed, "Right, pregnant. I'm getting sick of this…Two more months is too long for another cup of coffee. Annie and David?"

Luke shook his head, "No…I don't like either." He said. Annie and David just didn't sound like the names of his children with Lorelai. They had also been doing this for several months. She'd suggest something; he'd say no, he'd suggest something; she'd say no.

"Oh! Eva!" she suggested. He tilted his head. Eva. That sounded right, he looked to the sonogram picture on his bulletin board and then looked back to her. "I like Eva. Now we just need a name for our boy."

"I don't know…By the way, I think it's a little weird that you keep a picture of my uterus in the diner." He laughed.

"My kids are rooming in your uterus, I want to know them when they pop out." She laughed at him. "Did you just say 'pop out?' Oh god, Luke…Do you think they just squeeze me and they come out?" she was laughing hard now. "Or is it like those machines that 'pop out' baseballs. Are the babies going to make a home run? Is the hospital a baseball diamond?" He sighed.

"I think it's time for us to take some Lamaze classes." He suggested, and she laughed even harder until she realized he was serious.

* * *

A week later Lorelai sat back on a giant pillow at a dance studio in Hartford where the Lamaze classes were held. Luke sat next to her, as they waited for others to come in. 

"I don't see why we have to do this; I already know what I'm doing, here. See Rory? I was pretty damn conscious when she came out of me, bucko." She said watching as other couples sat like they did. Of course, they weren't really a couple. How many times had she reminded herself this? The instructor came in, and now they were breathing weird. She huffed in and out, and rested her head on the pillow they had, while Luke was now at her side holding her hand.

"Okay, that's good." The woman instructed. Lorelai sighed and put her head back on her pillow. After about an hour of fake contractions, and some uh, technical explanations the class had ended. Lorelai was rolling up her mat, and another couple was doing the same.

"Hi, we're Bill and Tina." The woman said friendly. "I'm seven months, how about you? You look like you're close, what a load you're carrying!" Lorelai laughed.

"I'm seven months too, it's twins actually. I'm Lorelai, and uh, over there is Luke." She said finding him in the room. He was standing with the cute blonde instructor, she was laughing and so was he. "Yeah…" Bill and Tina gave a nervous smile, then got up and left.

Fifteen minutes later Lorelai was still waiting for Luke. Finally, he said goodbye and silently they returned home.

* * *

After Luke dropped her off Lorelai couldn't help but feel angry. And jealous. Flirting at their Lamaze class? When he was there with her, the pregnant ex-girlfriend? Man, oh, man… She sighed, she was starved. After what felt like forever pizza had been delivered and she was now stretched out on the couch watching a random infomercial. 

She heard the door in the kitchen open and close and a familiar voice. "Mom…" Rory called. "I'm in here…" Lorelai called back. Rory sat at the edge of the couch, throwing her coat on the floor and taking a piece of pizza.

"Hey-don't steal food from a pregnant woman." Rory laughed.

"Uh-huh….So…how did the Lamaze class with Luke go?" Lorelai gave a deep sigh.

"Fine, until Luke was flirting with the cute instructor and I was the lonely pregnant woman standing in the corner waiting for my ex-boyfriend to drive me home from the Lamaze class he had suggested in the first place." She took a deep breath. "Just keep breathing, Lorelai, just keep breathing." Rory gave a little half smile.

"So you're jealous, then?" Rory asked sitting on the couch next to her mother. Lorelai shook her head.

"No, I mean only in a way that he has the chance for a personal life but I have to sacrifice all that." She sighed, "It's just not fair. I have double the hormones, and I haven't had sex or a date for nine months and he's just going out flirting with women!" Rory tried to say something "And who does he think he is? Is he a player now? A man-whore? Is this how he gets his women? And does he care at all about me?" she said, her voice rising.

Rory felt like she was going to burst out into laughter at her mother's sudden diatribe. She was obviously, jealous of Luke. But she held it in, and mother and daughter returned to the TV.

* * *

The next Tuesday morning Lorelai was at the inn, waiting for Luke to pick her up for their next Lamaze class. As she heard the familiar honk of the ancient truck she put down some papers, grabbed her jacket, and climbed into the truck, giving Luke a small smile. 

"Hey." He said. She gave a small smile and nodded.

"Hey." She said putting on her gloves. She sighed, it was January and freezing but still no snow.

The Lamaze class this Tuesday was similar to last Tuesday's class and went by pretty slow for Lorelai. She watched Luke and the teacher interact, and each time they flirted Lorelai got even angrier. Who did this woman think she was? What kind of Lamaze teacher flirt with her students? Especially with the pregnant ex-girlfriend around.

Fifteen minutes after the class was over and Luke was finished talking to the teacher Lorelai and Luke headed to the parking lot. The first half of the ride back to Stars Hollow was quiet, Lorelai sat there trying to tell Luke what she wanted but having issues until finally, she couldn't take it anymore.

"You can't date!" she blurted out. And of all the eloquent ways she had practiced in her head… Behold Lorelai Gilmore, queen of blurting.

"What? Lorelai…" Lorelai took a deep sigh.

"And no flirting! And it's not because I'm jealous, or that I want to be back with you, but I have not had sex for nine months! I haven't drank, and I can't go out on dates, and I have sacrificed my personal life for these babies, and you weren't even there for my first four months. And I sacrificed my goddamn Tuesday afternoon for your stupid Lamaze class, and so you could flirt with the damn bimbo of a Lamaze teacher!" Luke stared at her for awhile.

"Uh, okay. Sure." He said turning back to watching the road.

"And I'm not jealous." She said, quiet like a child.

"Okay." He replied nonchalantly. There was a long pause. "And I do think that you're great for sacrificing all of this. So yeah, I won't flirt! And just a fact- I didn't go out with any girl, even the Lamaze bimbo." Lorelai looked to him and smiled.

"Okay." She said. And they continued to Stars Hollow with content smiles on their faces.

* * *

When they got to Lorelai's house Luke walked her in politely. "Would you like some tea?" she asked. 

"Uh, sure." He replied awkwardly. Suddenly things felt weird again, she thought. But this was definitely a different weird. This was tension weird, this was old weird.

"I don't mean to be picking too much into your personal life but…" he sighed. "There wasn't anyone else, Lorelai, was there?" she shook her head pouring the hot water into a mug, then plopping two tea bags into it.

"Nobody but you Luke." She said giving him a smile, and taking a seat at the kitchen table, reaching for the bowl of MM's and taking a handful, slowly munching at them. "I was serious about you, you know." She said softly. They sat quietly staring at their shoes, then, he did something Lorelai would never have expected. He leaned in and kissed her.

"Luke- this isn't a good idea…" she whispered as he took her by her waist, both of them standing up.

"I don't want anything out of this Lorelai…I just want to be a friend, helping a friend. In fact, you might be helping me too." A grin broke out on her face.

"No strings attached?" she asked leaning in a little more. Luke nodded and that was all Lorelai needed. They continued to kiss feverishly into Lorelai's bedroom, where the door closed with a thud.

* * *

Later that night Luke slipped his pants on, then buttoned his flannel shirt, and gave a nervous smile. 

"Uh…Thanks Luke…" she said nervously. He nodded.

"Thanks to you too…It was great." He smiled nervously and opened the door, as Lorelai pulled the covers up to her chin. "So uh…Seeya." He said, and closed the doors.

Lorelai took a long, deep breath. She didn't have any feelings for Luke. That ship had sailed, hadn't it? She looked down at the carpet. Had it?


	6. Pain

A/N- Okay. I haven't written this fic for….A long time. Part of me was busy, part of me didn't know what to write, and part of me wished I had more reviews. The part of me that wished I had more reviews is gone. I made my account to share my writing with whoever would read, I made it for me. I made it not to care for reviews. Yet, there I was. That girl is gone now, and this girl is back. A better writer, longer stories, and happier. To those of you who do read- thank you. It gives me pleasure to read your reviews. Um, this chapter is a little different than the others.

Disclaimer: I don't own em'.

Nine months is a lot of time to think. I've been thinking a lot. Luke seems to be farther and farther away from me, though. I think he's seeing someone, too. He broke all the rules. He's in love with someone, I know it. I just wish I knew who.

He looks at me like I'm carrying his children, but when he looks distant, he looks as if he's dazed and in love. So, I stopped going to Luke's a month ago. After being with him like that, reminding me of what made my unborn children, I chose to leave. The town gave me a big baby shower, complete with games and crap I didn't need. But I love them, for what they did.

Rory is back at Yale, her mind is everywhere these days. But it makes her happy; she's living with Paris again. I miss her. It hurt me so much when I watched her drive away. I couldn't even help settle her in her dorm, because of my pregnancy. I instead stayed home, pondering what I'm going to do when she leaves for even better things.

The Dragonfly is thriving. I'm getting a lot of offers from other inns and companies. One is to move to London. If I do, it's more pay, and we'd have a big house. Rory is happy being single again now, if I left, she would only support me in what I did. Then again, I would be taking away Luke's children away from him. I'm so divided. I feel so weird. I'm getting really uncomfortable with my big, pregnant belly.

I don't even know what I want anymore, part of me wishes that I had Luke and a perfect family. That part is telling me to go for it, and tell him I love him. But this other part of me knows he won't love me anymore; and it is telling me to leave.

* * *

I really wish I could stop thinking about Lorelai. I haven't seen her for a month, I heard she had a nice baby shower. I made a crib, and left it on her doorstep, I knocked on the door, but after a few minutes she didn't answer. So I left. I heard the door opening, and turned around. Her smile was weak and little when she looked at what I made. I think she was going to cry. I didn't know what to say to her, so I just looked at her once more, and left. 

When I see her around town, and when she is smiling, she is beautiful. Her smiles are so rare, and when she does, it is a sad smile. I'm so proud of her. I'm filled with pride when I think of how strong she is being, when I think of my future children. With Jess, it was just hard. But I don't think it will be like it with Eva and…Well, we don't know yet. If we were talking, I bet we would know by now.

Everything changed after those moments with her. She went to my diner for another month, but it was all strained. I wish I could tell her that I love her, that I want to be with her…It's all just way too hard. I miss being with her.

* * *

Kirk stares up at Miss Patty, who's called an urgent town meeting. Everyone is here, but two. Luke and Lorelai...But he knows for a fact that they weren't invited. He holds the poster he's made in his hand to help Babette and Miss Patty demonstrate their point. 

"Welcome everyone…And when I say this is urgent, I mean it's urgent." Miss Patty says.

"Really," adds Babette "Look at Lorelai, she's almost nine months, so what we need to do is going to be tonight. With help from Sookie and your cooperation we can hold an intervention that will help to get Luke and Lorelai together." There is silence in the crowd; everyone begins to nod in agreement.

"They are pretty miserable." Says Andrew, and Bootsy agrees. Even Taylor seems to be indifferent to the proposal.

"So…Here's our plan…" Kirk takes out the poster with blueprints of Luke's diner on it and displays it. He had to break into Luke's apartment to retrieve them and a set of keys but it was worth it.

* * *

Lorelai sets her book on the table. She really has no interest in Jimmy Hoffa's disappearance, but Jackson recommended it and she's pretty much desperate for any form of entertainment. She reaches for her remote when the doorbell rings. She slowly gets off the couch and waddles to the door. If these babies don't come out soon she's going to scream, she thinks. It's Sookie who has a smile on that's just a little too bright for her taste. 

"We're going for ice cream!" Sookie declares happily, and before Lorelai can protest she's walking out the door into the delicate fall night practically being dragged by Sookie. Walking slowly, Lorelai is more interested in the orange leaves falling off of the trees. She feels as though she is that green leaf, lingering in a place where she knows she should not be. She feels so emotionally fragile right now she might burst out in tears, crying for a green leaf. She stares at it, just as it might be staring longingly at that orange color it has not yet turned. Her heart melts, and she realizes she's now really crying for these leaves.

"Are you okay? Oh sweetie…" Sookie asks, putting her arms around Lorelai. Sookie is secretly ridden with guilt and fear. She fears that if this does not work, Lorelai won't be her friend after her practically forcing her to talk to Luke. It gives her shivers to watch Lorelai as she stares distantly at the trees. Sookie tries to start a conversation again, but again, she finds silence where conversation should be. Lorelai is somewhere else; a place where Sookie imagines even Rory can't reach her at.

Lorelai can't help but think of how much greater Rory's life is. Lorelai now envies her daughter, unlike her, Rory is not stuck, and she has so much ahead of her. She would never regret having her daughter, but her desire to be more successful is burning even more than ever.

"I think I'm going to take that job in London." Lorelai says her thoughts finally, and Sookie is almost relieved when she speaks, except the words begin to sink in. Her friend is moving, and Sookie knows that it's for sure. Sookie would protest, but instead she nods and focuses on the plan she forgot about. At the soda shop, Lorelai orders two scoops of butter pecan, and Sookie follows suit.

Taylor gives Lorelai a smile, her distance is so apparent even he becomes a sucker for compassion.

"Um, Lorelai I have something for you, uh, since men weren't allowed at the baby shower…It's in the back room, I want you to see it, and I'll drive it tomorrow to your house." What Lorelai doesn't know is that in the back room, there is a door connecting to Luke's.

In the backroom is a basket, filled with baby toys. Lorelai gives Taylor her now trademark sad smile, and Taylor tries not to notice how sad her smile really is. Luke is better at hiding his feelings than Lorelai is, but not too much better. Instead of being distant and silent, Luke tries to hide his distance from the world. But everyone knows how far away Luke really is.

* * *

With help from Andrew and Bootsy who have been hiding behind some shelves, they gently take Lorelai by her side, and push her through the door to Luke's. Lorelai is confused for a moment, and jumps when she hears the door lock behind her. She emerges from the hallway she enters in and realizes where she is. It's Luke's. The lights are all off, and the moonlight is shining so bright through the windows. The place is completely empty. It hurts her to see it, but she can't move to the door. Luke is being taken downstairs by a very anxious Kirk who then opens the door to Luke's and forcefully locks it. 

The silence is interrupted by their stares. Neither can take their eyes off the other. Lorelai is mesmerized at how much he hasn't changed; she is amazed at how much she loves him. Luke can't believe she's here, she almost feels like a ghost. Her hair is in messy curls, and she is beautiful in her maternity jeans and brown corduroy jacket. Her belly excites him even more, the way it's grown. He had taken down the picture of his children in the diner and hid it in a drawer in his kitchen because it made him think of her. But now, there she was, the white moonlight covered her and made her look almost luminous.

"What are you doing here?" he finally asks, trying not to be fazed by her. She looks at him longer, then tries to speak.

"I don't know…I was at the soda shop getting ice cream and the town must've…" He is too much for her to take, he is...remarkable to her. He is also a reminder of her pain, she thinks.

"Here, uh…Sit down." He says taking down a chair at a table, then he takes another one down when she sits down. For a while he stares at the chair, like he forgot how to sit. Finally, he sits down. Lorelai puts her hand through her hair, feeling how much of a mess it's gotten.

"I don't know what to say to you." She reveals, she tries to forget her pain, and reminds herself to be the strong person she's always been. And yes, she succeeds. He believes in her strength so much, he forgets that she's good at playing pretend.


	7. Ow

A/N: Thank you guys so much for all of your great reviews, seeing all of those comments just…made my day completely. You're right it was a very sad chapter, I was listening to that Claudine Longet song from the finale and it helped sort of form the chapter. At last, the writer's block I was having was gone and I am now very eager to start writing more. I promised I would finish this, and I'm not going back on my promise.

At this moment, Lorelai wishes that there were no Lorelai. She wishes that she had never existed, that everything would disappear away from where she was. No Rory, no Stars Hollow, no town, no Luke, no pain, no disappointment. Staring into Luke's eyes makes her long even more, and makes her hate him even more. At this very moment she has decided that his face will forever haunt her.

His five o' clock shadow is dark, his eyes stare into her, making her heart bleed red from longing, and she knows that she will forever linger in this feeling, this haunting, terrible feeling. Her arms begin to develop goose bumps. He is caught in the moonlight, a dark shadow of himself under his body.

He can't think, he's trying not to think, but watching her makes him think a thousand thoughts. He knows that he should say something; he knows that she should tell her that he loves her.

"I…I don't understand why you went away." Instead comes out of his mouth. He didn't mean to sound so angry, but it's the hurt of losing her talking to him. He wants to scream or cry or do something but just sit here. She looks at the ground for a long time, until he realizes she's crying. "Lorelai- I didn't mean to…" he starts. But he doesn't finish, she looks like she's about to say something.

"Who is she?" she asks. She doesn't know why he has a confused look on his face, or why he asks her what she's talking about. They are so beyond acting it has become a memory. "Who are you in love with, Luke? Don't think I didn't notice how far away you've been…I left because I was afraid that…" she tries not to break out into a sob, and comes halfway. "That you loved someone else." Luke is quiet for a long time. He looks like he's about to laugh, but instead breaks into a smile.

"I don't love another woman." He stands up just as she does, and stares hard into her eyes. The blue eyes he's known for so long, and sees something in Lorelai he's never seen before. He sees the scared sixteen year-old trying to figure out the mistakes she's made, he sees her trying to be strong, he sees the girl that Christopher fell in love with, and he loses the girl that he fell in love with- and although this girl is different, he loves her just as much. Maybe he loves her even more. He becomes a teenager now too…He is scared just like her. He wants to tell her this…But if he could say everything he felt things would be different. He needs to tell her everything.

"I'm scared, too." He finally whispers. It's remarkable how good that felt. Teenage Lorelai tries to smile, but she looks like she is going to cry again. Teenage Lorelai melts back into the current Lorelai, and teenage Luke does the same. He steps closer to her, and puts his arm on her side. His fear is taken over by his passion, his mind is spinning but it suddenly feels very good. He is exhilarated by this need.

Even one touch from him feels electrifying, they're so close not she can hear his breathing and can tell how nervous he is. Her hand is shaky as she puts it on his shoulder. He wraps his other arm around her neck gently, pressing himself gently to her, her arms are now wrapped around his neck. They slowly lean in, and their lips wet each other's ever so lightly. He pulls himself away and opens his mouth to say something.

"I love you." Is what comes out. And he's never felt better. "I know we said no strings attached, but I love you, and I want to be with you. I miss you so much, Lorelai. I miss everything, I want a family with you, I want the house and the kids and the dog…But most of all I want to be with you so badly." She smiles, her real, own, happy smile.

Usually Lorelai would choose humor over the seriousness, but this time she wants to be serious. She wants so badly to be serious she whispers, "I love you…I want to be with you." And kisses him harder. Their lips are so connected now, she can hardly take moments to breath. The babies are kicking inside of her, and she feels like now there might be a chance she can get better. Finally, they pull away from each other. Neither of them knows how long it's been, their hands our still tangled with each other, and Luke and Lorelai both don't want to let go.

Outside, Kirk is sleeping in a lawn chair, Lorelai spots the tree she had been looking at earlier, and the leaf is gone. She smiles, she can't help but smile. Everything that just happened makes her want to scream in happiness so hard, but she may risk never stopping.

Her eyes go to Luke, and she smiles even harder. He is smiling just like her, and she can't take the happiness it's so wonderful. Her happiness immediately goes to a weird feeling. Is she leaking? She is standing in a puddle of water, and she immediately knows what's going on.

"Luke?" she says, as he stares at the puddle. "I think my water just broke." Her mind is spinning, how the hell is she going to do this? She can't do this…It's twins! How can she give birth to twins? There are too many of them, damnit! Her breathing is growing heavier as she freaks out. Luke is banging on the door, Lorelai has to sit down, but instead of a chair she finds the ground. Kirk is so dumb, she hates Kirk right now.

"Call someone!" she suggests urgently as she begins to feel herself slowly going into labor. A contraction is starting and she starts to feel the pain. "Oh my god! Luke, make it stop, I don't want to do this again."

"My phone isn't working…they must've disconnected the phone. And all the doors are locked shut." He was panicking now he was so afraid of what was to come in hours ahead.

She shut her eyes tight until her contraction was over. This was going to be long, and Kirk still wasn't responding to their shouts. The one night the town decides to give them privacy she goes into labor. Luke holds his hand out to her to help her get up.

"Where do we go?" she asks as she struggles to get on her feet. Once standing, he leads her upstairs.

"I'm going to try to do anything and everything in my power to get you to the hospital to have the babies, but stay on the bed for now." He finds a washcloth and wets it, then puts it on her head which is covered in sweat. He's gone again and she's going through another contraction so she can't look up. It's so hot in the apartment, and she is sweating harder than she's ever sweated before. She tries to remember what it was like with Rory, but her mind draws a blank…She just remembers the drugs. She really wishes she had the drugs right now, and it's even harder for her now that she's apparently doing a home birth.

Luke comes back empty-handed. He helps her take her coat off and holds her hand, letting her squeeze his hand. He tries to smile, but is so nervous he doesn't know what to do.

Lorelai tries to remember Sookie's homebirth, but she realizes that she had blocked it out. She now wishes she hadn't. The contraction is finally over and she takes a deep breath. "Oh my god." She whispers, shutting her eyes and opening them. Luke doesn't know what to do, he knows for a fact that he's not going to be able to handle this.

"Luke…" Lorelai moans. "I can't have our babies here…I don't know what to do…Out the window!" she says as if 'out the window' actually makes sense to her. Only Lorelai. "Luke, climb out the window.

"Lorelai I'm not-." She's glaring at him so he stops. "Well…How do I go out of the window?" She takes a deep breath and he's so glad she's in between contractions.

"Tie some things together and use it as rope to climb down…" Luke sighs, 'What we do for love…' he thinks as he grabs some extra sheets and begins to tie them together.

Soon Luke is dangling from his window holding onto some plaid flannel sheets for dear life. Slowly, he inches down them trying to be careful, but also trying to speed up. He gulps as he stares down at the ground. Soon, after almost having a heart attack in fear Luke is down, and trying to wake Kirk up, who ignores him practically.

Lorelai is worried now. Was it such a good idea to send Luke out the window? She wonders if it was too rash. How long does it take to climb out of a window, anyways? She feels like it has been a long time…But she also knows for a fact it's only been a few minutes. She moans in pain as she longs for some relief from the heat that's overtaken her. It's so hot she can barely take it. She lifts her head up for any sign of Luke, the make-shift rope isn't moving anymore, which means that either he's down, or he's fallen. She hopes that it's the first… 'Please don't let Luke fall…' she asks no one in particular. But she can't think anymore, because another contraction has come on, and the heat is getting to her even worse. Before she can try to even get through it she passes out with the heat to strong, but not before she hears an ambulance and Luke's door open.

Luke is worried now; Kirk finally woke up and opened the door. He uses Kirk's phone (Miss Patty had given it to Kirk to call her if anything had changed) to call an ambulance, then he rushes with Kirk to his room to get Lorelai. On his bed, Lorelai lays limp and quiet, her eyes tightly shut. He hopes she's okay, but when he goes to pick her up she is hot to the touch. With help from Kirk, they lift her up to the downstairs, everything is limp and her breath is barely audible. When the ambulance arrives, they put her on a gurney and Luke quickly gets into the ambulance, putting his hand on hers. As the door closes, Luke swears he gets a glimpse of his future. He's going to be a father.

He looks to Lorelai, passed out on the gurney. Attendants are all over trying to get her conscious again. He stares at her, even unconscious she is radiant.

Lorelai wakes up with several IVs in her arms. She tries to figure out where she is for a moment, until she realizes she's at the hospital. She immediately reaches for her stomach where her children should be and takes a deep breath in relief realizing she didn't miss giving birth. She relaxes a little feeling better in her hospital gown. Where is everyone though?

"Mom!" Rory walks in happily, looking relieved herself. She hugs her mother tightly. "Oh my god, Mom! They were worried about you for awhile…I don't know you overheated or something and oh my god…When Luke called me. Have you had any more contractions?" Lorelai shakes her head. "They almost were going to give you a cesarean if you hadn't woken up."

"Nah, I'm awake…Geez, it all came on so fast. And it was so hot I just couldn't take it…" she says. "I feel a lot better, I thought I was going to have to give birth on Luke's bed… So, uh, where is Luke?" Rory smiles.

"He's making some more calls, Sookie, Jackson…Uh, he called-." Before Rory can finish Lorelai sees it herself.

"Lorelai! How are you feeling?" Emily says as she enters the hospital room with Richard, Lorelai fumbles with her hospital bracelet until she feels a contraction. "We were worried." Richard adds smiling.

This was going to be a long birth.


	8. Eh

**Turning Around- Chapter 8- **

**A/N: Hey guys. I'm so sorry. I just started high school, and I've been busier than ever. I promise I'll post a lot more. **

**Disclaimer: I swear, I don't own the characters. Really. Promise. Double swear. Triple swear. So, for the rest of my life I won't own them, unless told otherwise…By someone who really does own them.**

Lorelai is in one of her most vivid dreams. She's screaming. And she's trying to push a person the size of a giraffe's head out of her uterus. And there's her mother- trying to talk one of the nurses for feather pillows. Oh, wait: she's not dreaming.

"Mom!" she yelled, annoyed. Emily looked at her daughter, surprised.

"Honestly, Lorelai….Your behavior is atrocious sometimes, in here- screaming." Lorelai doesn't even bother to argue this, another contraction has started and she decides there are more important things than to formulate a witty comeback. Now she grabs Luke's hand and squeezes, this contraction is coming furious. Luke's mind is running even faster than Lorelai's…He's so afraid, afraid of what's about to come, he always imagined Lorelai pregnant, but he forgot to imagine the part with the kids.

"I'm going to grab some water real quick." Emily is holding Lorelai's other hand, who is now sweating like a pig. Lorelai's head is lying on the pillow, the contraction ending. She never remembered it being like this with Rory. Then she remembers what she read in an article awhile ago, about mothers who had a child early, then their second births were…They were…What the hell were they?

Emily spots Luke, and sees his expression. She hates that Lorelai is with him, she hates it because she's afraid he's going to leave Lorelai and the babies, and her daughter will get hurt. She wishes that maybe Lorelai's Prince Charming had not been in the form of a diner proprietor.

* * *

Luke is hyperventilating now. Who the hell ever taught him to be a father? His own father was a great, but guiding him to be a successful kid like Rory? He was one-thousand percent sure how disappointed Lorelai was going to be in him when she finds out how miserable of a father he's going to be. Look at Jess. He probably did a worse job on Jess than then Jimmy did.

Suddenly, this hospital was making him dizzy and scared.

"Sir? Are you okay? You look pale. Are you lost? Are you looking for the emergency room?" Luke looked at the nurse who tugged at his sleeve. He couldn't be here anymore. He couldn't be a father, he wasn't ready. With that one tug on his sleeve, with that one tug of reality, he did the only thing he could really do. He ran.

* * *

Lorelai's mind was screaming. Nope…She was screaming. Where the hell was Luke? Where was anyone? Where was she? She was scared, and hurting… Never before did she feel so afraid. She was screaming and crying because mostly, she felt pain.

"Rory…" She called out as the contraction ended. She took both or Rory's hands, pleadingly. "I can't do this… It hurts, oh my god it hurts." Richard looked at his daughter, and was very thankful he wasn't a woman. Rory stared at her mother.

"Just relax, it's okay Mom, you have to relax. It's okay…Here." Rory pulls down some blankets from Lorelais shoulders, and runs a washcloth under some cool water. She then rests the washcloth on Lorelai's forehead. "I know it's scary, just hang in there, okay?"

"I'm trying, I'm trying…It hurts." She cries, wishing that her mind didn't feel this backward. Emily stares at her daughter, and takes her hand.

"No birth is a piece of cake. Where's that crude sense of humor you usually hold?" Lorelai moaned even louder.

"I'm just a little pre-occupied...Oh my god…" She started huffing even harder, and crying. "Oh no…Make it go away, make it go away." Rory smiled reassuringly at her mother and squeezed her hand supporting. A doctor walks in, looking incredibly serious.

"You have to tell me something good, doc…I can't take this, it hurts…Is there a drug, or am I close?" Lorelai moans as her contraction ends. The doctor shakes his head.

"One of your babies are breech, which is going to make it that much harder to give birth to them…So we could do the birth naturally, or we can do an emergency cesarean section." Lorelai sighed, and turned her head to the side of the pillow.

"I need Luke here…Where did he go?" She whispers softly to everyone in the room.

Nobody knows what to say.

* * *

The bus station is cold and unwelcoming. Luke doesn't mind though. He knows he deserves all of this, he even deserves to be sitting next to the guy spitting into a can. It's degrading, and he doesn't even care. He'll never be a father. Maybe years later he'll wake up and regret his lousy decisions. But for now, he just wants to be far from Conneticut.

He thinks a lot about Lorelai on the bus ride to New York. He thinks about their reunion, and he thinks of her future. What did he just set her up for? He thinks of her stress, her reaction. He wonders about her birth…He wonders what she's doing at this very moment. He wonders what his children will look like. Probably like Lorelai, and he hopes they'll get her smile.

At Port Authority, he's not sure where to go. The city is big and disgusting. It wreaks of pollution and hot dogs…All he wants is to go back to Stars Hollow and have his old life back free from any commitment.

He goes to the only place he knows to go to. Jess is his only hope, the only one who might understand. The last address Jess sent him was three months ago, and here Luke is in a NYU dorm. A sudden wave of pride goes through him, Jess finally made something happen.

Jess's thoughts are pre-occupied on his current events class. Who is this teacher to disapprove on his views? Calling them naive! Jess is growing angrier by the second. The knock on the door almost startles him. His roommate is out for the weekend, and everyone's focused on the tests that all the teachers at NYU coincidentally scheduled for Monday in every subject. Seeing Luke shocks him even more.

"So…" Luke begins, looking at his nephew nonchalantly. "The weather's been pretty hot for fall…" Jess just nods and opens his door for Luke, wondering what he could possibly need right now.

* * *

Lorelai looks up at the anesthesiologist who is about to puther asleep,"I need Luke here." She whispers before she finds herself in a deep sleep.

Rory watches her mother being wheeled off into another room, and sits down on a stiff waiting room chair. She's sandwiched between Emily and Richard, both grandparents are silent, with the same quiet expression.

"He left her, didn't he?" the younger Lorelai whispered, putting her head in her hands. The older Gilmores look at each other, afraid of the answer.

"Rory, you know your mother is strong… She raised you, and she's going to raise your siblings with that same spark." Emily says playing with her keys. Somehow she can't sit still, which she's never usually had a problem with. "Why don't we all go grab some frozen yogurt at the cafeteria?" Rory smiles at her Grandma and all three of them get up to the cafeteria.

Richard is worried about his daughter, and he wants to murder Luke. He's so mad, in fact, that he wishes he knew where that son of a bitch is. In line for food he slams down his fist angrily. "How are we supposed to pretend like everything's okay? They make up, and a few hours later he screws it up! This isn't acceptable. She can't do this again, she needs to get married!"

Emily sighs and looks at her husband. "Richard, please…"

"No!" He interrupts, "This isn't right, we can't let this happen! How are you being so calm? This is completely unacceptable." Rory looks at her grandfather, hurt.

"There's nothing you can do-Just…Stop already." She moves on quietly and they sit in silence, eating.

* * *

"Luke, what are you doing here?" Asks Jess, the moment of silence passed. He sits at his computer chair, and motions for Luke to sit on the couch. Luke looks around the dorm, for Jess's income he's surprised to see a laptop and an mp3 player.

"Are those your roommate's?" Jess shakes his head and points to the computer desk across from him, with the same accessories.

"I have a scholarship here, and I've been saving up for the computer…" He waits for a moment, and then asks again. "What are you doing here, Luke? I thought you and Lorelai worked it out."

"She's giving birth. I can't do it, Jess. I can't be a father; I'd screw them up too bad." Jess takes a deep breath, and tries to digest the amount of information Luke just gave him. Luke ran out? On Lorelai? It was so unlike Luke to actually do something like this, Luke usually held his feelings in. Luke continues, "We made up, and then she want into labor, and I just…I can't do it." Jess shakes his head.

"I can't believe you, Mr. Reliable actually did something like this…You just left?" Jess takes a deep breath. "What do you plan to do, just hide for the rest of your life? Because I have a roommate and he's not going to be cool with that."

"I'm going to…Well, I just sort of figured I'd….I don't know what the hell I'm going to do." Luke says, becoming even more anxious.

"Well, you'll probably need a job seeing that those child support payments are going to be huge." Jess declares with his usual sarcasm. "Especially since there are two kids, but if you don't feel like paying them, I've heard the Hartford jail is lovely from one of Liz's friends."

"Stop calling your mom 'Liz', Jess." Luke says annoyed. "I'll pay the child support, I'll find a place, and I'll find a job." Jess shakes his head.

"I'm disappointed in you, Uncle Luke." Luke sighs and looks at his feet.

* * *

Lorelai is taken back to her room, after a successful c-section. They tell her she's going to have pains in her abdomen, but so far the pain killers are working. She's dozing off when they bring in the twins. Eva and... If Luke were here, he could probably help her name the other. She knows what happened, she knows Luke left.

"Do you have names, sweetie?" the nurse asks Lorelai as the two children are put in her arms. Lorelai smiles, putting a stray hair behind her ear. They're both beautiful. Eva has a beautiful round nose, and her little boy's eyes are deep brown, just like Luke's.

"Eva Gilmore-Danes and…." She considers it for a moment, staring into her little boy's eyes. "How about Alex? Alex Gilmore- Danes." She laughs as Eva squirms happily. Rory walks in with Emily and Richard, Lorelai's smile is so genuine it makes all three of them smile equally. "Hey guys…"

"Meet Alex and Eva…" Lorelai hands Alex to Rory, and Eva to Emily. Already Lorelai misses them, her exhaustion is shadowed by her amazement. They were so beautiful, she couldn't take it. Then there was Luke…She didn't know where to go with that. After Richard got to hold them, they were back in her arms. Laying on her stomach, she smiles at her little miracles and falls asleep.


	9. Hearts Break

**Turning Around- Chapter 9**

**A/N: Yes…Another chapter! Hurrah! It's not even a month and I'm updating…Hopefully my updates will be better and more frequent. Having a computer in my room is a little helpful, so I can take a break from my homework now and then.**

**Disclaimer: Now you're just mocking me. However significant the wish to own them is, I don't own any of these characters. I do, however, own some eyeliner, lip gloss, and a buttload of CD's.**

* * *

"_Hearts break, hearts mend, but love still hurts…" _

_-_**Sarah McLachlan**

* * *

After a few days in the hospital, Lorelai goes home. Most of her days at the hospital consisted sleeping and feeding the twins. Her mind is mostly set on her plans, she's unsure of everything, unsure of what to do, and how she's going to possibly raise her two newborns. 

She takes joy in Alex and Eva, staring into their eyes; giggling whenever they squirmed or held onto her, and trying to cheer them up when they cried. And when they weren't there, she cried. She cried because she missed them and she cried because she missed Luke. She was afraid.

Rory, Sookie, Emily, and Richard visited in shifts, almost. Whenever Rory saw her mother with the twins, it lit up the entire room. In such a devastating situation, her sister and her brother were life-givers.

Lorelai walks into her house, afraid of the loneliness. With Alex and Eva in their carrier, and Rory by her side, she bravely walked into the lonely house. But to her luck, everyone in the town was there, with presents and big smiles.

"Oh my god!" She declares happily, and plops on the couch, setting the carrier facing towards her and reaching for Alex and Eva, setting them on her lap. The party goes by fast, with the same redundant comments: "Look at how beautiful they are, Luke made a huge mistake…" And blah blah blah.

After Rory leaves back to school, it's just Lorelai and the twins. Suddenly, she realizes she won't be lonely for eighteen years and she's torn between being stressed out and thankful. Mostly, she's thankful. Right when she falls asleep, they begin to cry. Eva first, then Alex. Then she begins to remember stuff like this- With Rory, it was 4:30 AM, and with these two, it was 3:30.

She takes them out of the basinet that Luke made for her, and them, and sits on the rocking chair that she had since Rory was a baby. First, she takes Alex in her arms, smiling as he takes to her breast and drinks. Although she's tired, every moment with these twins she's euphoric.

* * *

Luke's depressed, he thinks about Lorelai all the time, and he wonders how much she hates him. He thinks about his children, and he hopes that the birth was okay. He thinks about how bad it looked, and the look of pain in her eyes…That looks haunts him. 

He sleeps on Jess's couch, Jess tries to get to Luke, but he can't. He tries to convince Luke that Lorelai needs him, and Jess tries even harder to think of how he can meddle. He tried calling Lorelai, but when she answered, Jess couldn't say anything.

"Hello?" She said, her voice was small and tired. "Hello?" He heard a sigh in the background. "Luke…If it's you, I just…I don't know what to say because you hurt me and you hurt our kids and our future. I don't want to tell you where to go or what to do. Maybe it's best if you just leave us alone." Now her voice is just flat, with depression and anger. Jess is too afraid to tell Luke she doesn't want to see him anymore.

* * *

Lorelai is in a fire of some kind. Her heart is burning, spurting into deadly flames. She hates him and she loves him. But she knows she can't wait around forever, it would hurt her too much. She knows that living like this, in Stars Hollow, feeling so dead would kill her, and would be unfair to the twins. She has to stay strong for them, and that's why, with Sookie's support, she sells the Inn and starts to pack for London.

Her hair blows in the wind as she stares at her Dragonfly, her dream. Almost immediately she was closing this chapter in her life, a chapter that evolved into one of the most tragic chapters ever. It's suddenly become cold in Stars Hollow, the fall weather has caught up and she bundles up. She looks down at Alex and Eva, who are also bundled up together, in a carrier on her stomach, under her open coat. She looks to the man next to her, from the Duram group, reaches into her pocket and hands him her key.

"It was great doing business with you, Lorelai…This inn is in good hands." Lorelai smiled, she looked down to her children once again, her greatest strength. Walking through it one more time even depressed her, walking through the halls past happy guests, and the dining room where they enjoyed Sookie's food.

The kitchen door swung behind her. She smiled happily as she saw Sookie and Jackson arguing, for a moment she stood next to Michel and munched on an apple, enjoying the scene. Sookie turned around and saw her.

"Oh my god! Are you leaving?" She said, disappointed. Lorelai nodded, smiling.

"I'll be back to see Rory and to visit you guys…I mean, I'll probably get paid to lay in the 'fly's comfy beds and hanging out with my Stars Hollow peeps." Sookie laughs tearily.

"I can't believe you're leaving us…Oh, Lorelai." Sookie sighs and steps back, looking at her friend. A different, stronger person…But when she looks harder, she sees her sad, vulnerable friend, and wishes she could help. "Please…Just be happier when you get to London." Lorelai smiles and nods.

"I will."

* * *

Luke walks down another unfamiliar New York sidewalk, filled with unfamiliar people and unfamiliar feelings. This is the third job he knows he's not going to get. He's officially a loser, living in a dorm with his nephew. He took a deep breath, he couldn't deal with these jobs anymore.

Passing by a shop window, something caught his eye. There it was: a beautiful baby rattle that reminded him so much of the life that he was rejecting. It was this incredible longing feeling deep in his heart, that he knew he would walk with for the rest of his life.

He stared at a happy couple, through the window, the woman was obviously pregnant…And there was her husband, standing there happily, talking with the salesperson, and constantly consulting his wife. They were happy and together, which was all he really wanted with Lorelai.

And, why can't they just work out? Why did he have to get so scared? Luke considers all of this, his eyes growing bigger. He knows now how badly he ruined it, and he needs to fix it. What does it matter, what do kids change it? It's just more love! He realizes that this couple sees him staring, and he walks into the store, and walks to them.

"Do you think you'll still be happy and together with kids?" he asks them, the husband pulls the wife a little closer, the husband is obviously worried, yet the wife isn't afraid at all. She smiles and shakes her head.

"This is our third, and we love each other even more." She says reassuringly. The husband nods.

"We know that kids are just a higher level of support, and when something gets too stressful, the other can take over. We have a good system, and a lot of parents like us are still happy, too." Luke smiles, this is what he needs.

"Thank you…Thank you!" He grabs the rattle, and the cashier quickly wraps it.

After saying goodbye to Jess, Luke takes a bus home, he's sure about everything, he's sure that he loves her and now he's sure that it's enough. He tries to think about what he's going to say to her, yet his heart is beating too fast and too strong to even think. The energy pumping through his veins is like a natural high, he has so much to tell her, he wants to take her in his arms and kiss her. He wants to meet his kids.

In Stars Hollow, it's incredibly quiet. He's too excited to realize it's midnight. He sets his bags in front of the diner, gets his truck and heads to the Gilmore house. In the front is a sign. A "For Sale" sign. It's his fault, he knows. He wants to know badly where she is, where his children are.

* * *

Sookie is tired. Davie and Anne cry in shifts, finally they're down for the night. As she's about to go to sleep for the third time, there's a wild knocking on the door. She thumps Jackson with her leg, "Get the door, and kill whoever is in front of it. I don't care if it's a guy telling us we've won a million dollars…" Jackson comes back into the room, and boy does he sound annoyed.

"I know I told Lorelai I'd kill him, but he's at the door, Sookie and I'm afraid that he'll kill me if I try to…" Sookie is awake now, she huffs to the door, royally pissed off for her friend, and for his interruption to her sleep.

"You've got to be kidding me. How many times are you going to do this, Luke?" She says loudly, so her neighbor will know of his presence, so that in Stars Hollow fashion, this will spread like wildfire. She expects Taylor with the pitchforks at any moment.

"Tell me where she is, Sookie…I've got to know where Lorelai and my kids are…I need to see them, I need to see her." Luke is pleading, and Sookie knows this. She almost wants to say something, but for Lorelai's sake she knows she shouldn't.

"Go away forever and never come back." She says coldly. "She left here because the pain you caused, and I'm not going to let you hurt her again." Luke shakes his head.

"What can I do to make you tell me where she is?" Sookie turns away, and is about to turn away when she hears Gypsie.

"Maybe you could go back in time and not leave in the middle of the woman's labor." People around her nod, it's like a midnight town meeting. Luke feels the stares digging into him, and he would probably stare at his feet in this situation, but instead his voice grows stronger.

"I screwed up. I'm not going to lie, and I've been screwing up all my life. I was afraid, and that's not a great reason for leaving but I have none. But I want to fix it, and I want to provide for my kids and make Lorelai happy. I want to make a romantic moment. I want her to love me again, and I want to take away all the hurt and pain I caused her."

The town takes a deep breath, all together in unison. They start talking.

* * *

Lorelai's new apartment is gorgeous. All around her, she's enchanted by the new-ness. Alex and Eva are fast asleep in their temporary bed; her furniture is being sent in a few weeks. For now, they sleep safely in her arms. She's looking through some documents the group gave her for her first meeting. She's happy for awhile, or maybe the right word is satisfied. She feels much better to be far away from the pain. For the first time since he left, she falls asleep feeling content.

For the next few days, she's doing okay. Taking it day by day helps her, there are less reminders of him… They resemble him, but Alex and Eva are her joy. Even when they open their eyes, or make a face expression…She lights up.

* * *

It takes Luke three days to get to London, and he has to fly first class, which costs him a lot. Sookie gave him an address, and people weren't too helpful. After a couple bus rides, he finds the quaint apartment that she lives in. This helps him know that it's okay, he's reassured by the building, because her life isn't terrible.

When she answers the door, it takes his breath away. Her eyes fill with tears.

"Stay away from me." She says angrily, and then slams the door. He's never heard her so angry before.

Lorelai slams the door and falls on her knees, crying. His face haunts her.


	10. I'm Going Home Now

**A/N: Okay, guys. It's been a long ride through this story, and I've appreciated every single piece of feedback you've ever given me. This story has been with me for a long time, and I really loved writing it. A lot of things have happened this year with me, and it's changed me. I'm sure you can see that in how I changed parts of my writing, and I hope it's been for the better. Improving as a writer is tough, and we do it very slowly. I was so proud of my old Friends fanfictions, but as I read them a year later, I quickly deleted them. This fic has been here for a long time, and I'm excited to finish it. On my future here at fanfiction: I've been writing here for a long time, and I intend to write many more fanfictions. I'll be writing something soon, maybe even in the next week or so that I'll start regularly updating so I hope that you guys will all stay with me…**

**Thank you for reading _Turning Around. _It's been an extraordinary experience, and without all the reviews I probably wouldn't have finished it.**

**Disclaimer: NNNNOOOOOO! I don't own these characters. However, Amy Sherman Palladino and the WB do…Nor do I own any of the lyrics to the songs.**

**One last thing: The lyrics I'm going to use are going to be from several Patty Griffin songs. Check her music out sometime, she's great.**

Lorelai is sitting at her kitchen counter, drinking wine. She's tried to calm herself down several ways, but so far drinking is all that's proving effective. So that's what she does. So far, this is her third glass of wine. She wishes that he hadn't showed up. In her life, she's wished a lot of things…Somehow; wishing has never worked on her.

This is a rare moment for Lorelai. Alex and Eva are both asleep, and she has time. She knows she can't leave them alone, but she needs to take a walk or something. So she decides to check her mailbox, it's quick and she can at least momentarily leave the apartment. She checks to see if she has her keys, then slowly makes her way down the stairs.

In the mailroom, she meanders through the aisles while trying to find her box. She can't stand her apartment, she doesn't want to go back and feel lonely. A man smiles whose opening the mailbox close to her. She smiles back, and suddenly she feels a spark. Even just a little one. She needs something to occupy her.

He has blonde hair, and beautiful deep brown eyes.

"I'm Lorelai." She says, making the first move.

"It's really nice to meet you, I'm James." He gives her that great smile again. There's a heat, it's small but it's a heat. She steps closer and suddenly she's putting her arms around him and kissing him He pulls back.

"I have an apartment upstairs." She whispers, "Hence the mailbox."

"I have one here, too." He says, his voice sexy.

"Really? Cause' I thought you just came here to make out with random women in mailrooms." James laughs at her sarcasm.

"Okay, we'll go to your apartment…This isn't too much for you, is it?" Lorelai takes a moment to think. She might be about to jump into bed with a serial murder. Then she thinks about Luke… She shakes her head.

"No, I'm fine…" He smiles.

"Show me the way…" She takes his hand, and leads him to the elevator.

_Turned away again and I waved goodbye  
In an envelope, inside his coat  
Is a chain I wore, around my throat  
Along with, a note I wrote  
Said "I love you but, I don't even know why"_

* * *

Lorelai lays on James's chest. He holds her, his body is warm and comforting. It's almost like the void in her heart is temporarily filled. And then she hears it… It's Alex, then Eva- they're crying. She sits up, and looks at James.

"I need to go…to that." He sighs, and shakes his head.

"I don't know if this is going to work." James says, hearing the increasing cries. She nods.

"I know." She turns around and walks to the cribs, picking both Alex and Eva in her arms and rocking them. She realizes it now. They're her responsibility, and she's okay with that. An hour later, she walks back into her room. It's 3AM, and she's content with herself, in a way. She sits on her bed, and goes over the night's events. She wishes James never happened. The void is back. She puts her head in her hands, and rocks slowly back and forth. Slow whimpers come from her. When she takes her head out of her hands, she wipes her face.

_I spit, I spit in the eye  
I tear, I tear out my heart  
and I scatter the bits  
I stay unseen by the light  
I stay untold by the truth  
I'm sold by a lie  
By this I am able in all of my travels  
To make these memories quit  
But tonight I clearly recall every little bit_

* * *

Luke searches for apartments and jobs. Five days after he comes to London, he finds both. His flat is five blocks away from Lorelai's, but it's half the size. The job he takes is an assistant chef at a "hip" restaurant. He doesn't mind it, but the food annoys him. Little portions, too much spice. The head chef doesn't really talk, but whenever Luke tries to make a suggestion, he glares. Two days after he gets the job, he learns to stay quiet.

Every day after work, he walks to Lorelai's apartment. He watches as she walks in. Every day she grows thinner; yet…Every day she becomes more beautiful to him. She's more serious now; she lives in a corporate world. He wonders if she sees him when she walks in.

And finally, he musters the courage to ring her doorbell. There are two babies in her arms, his babies. He's astonished by them, they're beautiful.

"Eva and…" He stops. He doesn't even know the name of his son. Luke is completely humiliated about this, he's a failure as a father. She shakes her head.

"His name is Alex, Luke. If you were there when I gave birth to them maybe you would know." She looks down, and with all the strength she has she says, "Why are you here? Stay away from me."

"Well…" Her hostility is hurting him, bit by bit. "I moved here. I live five blocks from your apartment. I want to help raise my children. I'm not going to let you close that door on me, you know that's wrong Lorelai. I want a plan. I want joint custody." Lorelai opens her door, letting Luke in.

Silently, Lorelai hands Alex and Eva to Luke. She grabs a bag and walks into another room. Luke is still in awe. He smiles every time they move; every time they blink…He loves them as soon as he holds them. He's so sure that he wants to raise them, he wants to be apart of their lives.

When she comes back, Lorelai hands Luke a carrier and a bag with bottles, diapers, and formula.

"I hope you can buy the rest with the job you have. You have this week, I have next week. We'll do this for the rest of their lives. I started an account for their college. Every paycheck one of us gets, we put fifty dollars into this account. Every bonus, we put two hundred. I might come by to visit them, so write down your address." She hands him a notepad and he scribbles down the address, and puts Alex and Eva into their carrier.

He finds a big store with baby items- he buys everything. Even the things that Lorelai put in the bag, he grabs extra of. He's prepared; he's going to do this. No backing out for him. He talks to them, and smiles at them.

It's ten o' clock at night when he comes home. He sets the silver rattle he bought for them on a table in their room. Alex and Eva are bright eyed from napping. But he's also sure that they need to be on a schedule. He puts them in the two cribs that he bought. He doesn't know how he can get them to bed. Then, he sits down in a chair in the corner of his spare room. Then, he takes them in his arms and rocks slowly. This is weird. He doesn't know exactly how to do this, so he clears his throat and tries to sing.

"Uh, rock-um…Rock-ah bye-ey…Pupppy…" They just smile at Luke's anxiety. "Okay, I suck at this. Stop smirking like that. You're already like your mother." He holds them closer to him. "I'm sorry I missed your beginning, I'm going to make it up to you." After a little while, they fall asleep just sitting quietly. He carefully sets them in their cribs, and then he sits back in the chair in the corner. Just to hear them move a little, or hear them breathe.

_I wrote a note to tell you how you matter  
When the rain came down  
All the letters scattered  
And washed away  
Drifted off to Never  
Where you'll be safe from me now forever_

* * *

It's even scarier to be alone in her house. She even worries about Alex and Eva, yet she knows their not in the next room.

In the next eight weeks, Luke and Lorelai grow into a routine. It's comfortable, and they even start making a little conversation.

_Can you hear the voice inside you  
It calls you back to where you belong  
Can you see the one beside you  
Who's been standin' there all along  
Baby, well you were so cruel  
I hated being your fool  
So I got a little bit more  
Mud on my face  
But the years will bring  
The bigger scheme of things  
And make a pretty memory out of my disgrace_

* * *

It's been four years since Lorelai's moved to London. She's grown into everything; her job is hard but completely rewarding. But the best part of her life is coming home and picking up her kids from daycare. Alex and Eva always brighten up her life, she loves every moment. They're very chattery, Luke always jokes with her about how similar they really are to Lorelai. Yet, when Eva starts talking about nutritional crap, Lorelai's sure she gets it from Luke.

Luke and Lorelai get along way better. Luke's apartment is much bigger now, after two years he got a promotion to head chef. After his promotion, he bought a bigger apartment, and started putting more money in their college apartment. Luke's in Stars Hollow is still running, by Jess.

Rory visits Lorelai about once or twice a month, on report for CNN. Rory, however, lives in Stars Hollow in the Gilmore house, when she isn't busy. Of course, she tries to be in both London and Stars Hollow as much as she can to visit Jess(her very serious boyfriend), and to visit her mom and her siblings.

One week, Lorelai comes to pick up Eva and Alex. They run to her.

"Mooommmyyy." They both come, running into her arms. Eva slips on the ground from her socks, but quickly regains her composure as she runs to Lorelai.

"Geez, you guys grow an inch, even in a week." Lorelai pinches Alex's cheek. "You are going to be ssssooo tall. Two little towers, the both of you." Luke comes walking up from the kitchen and hands Lorelai two lunch boxes, one Hello Kitty, and another Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

"Hey…You want some coffee?" Alex raises his hand.

"I do!" Alex says, excited. Luke shakes his head.

"I don't think so, mister…" Luke says picking Alex up and raising him to the ceiling, then back to the ground. Fatherhood has changed Luke, he's become more sensitive.

"Sure," She says putting Eva in her arms. "Coffee would be great."

"It's going to stunt your growth." Says Eva, looking at her mother who carries her into the kitchen. Lorelai looks at Eva questioningly.

"Just like your father…" Luke laughs when he hears this, then pours her some coffee. The twins scramble to their play room and Luke and Lorelai hear truck sounds.

"Vroom Vroom, indeed." Lorelai says laughing with Luke He sits down at the table with her.

"Have you heard from Rory lately?" Lorelai nods.

"Yeah, she's in New York covering some debate or whatever. Jess decided to come with her, did he tell you?" Luke nods yes.

"Yeah, but I have to say…I would have never left the diner with Ceaser for an entire weekend." Lorelai laughs.

"Yeah, his food sucks. I went in there a year ago, and it's still as busy but…I don't know. I would kill for a great burger." Luke stands up and grabs some beef from the freezer.

"Your wish is my command." Lorelai giggles.

"As long as it's not a disgusting cream cheese santa burger…But yum-my. I haven't had a Luke's burger in…"

"Five years. It was your eighth month." Lorelai becomes silent, Luke flips the burger and puts a piece of cheese on the browning meat. Luke sighs. "Lorelai?" Lorelai looks to Luke, with that blank, innocent face.

"Yeah, Luke?"

"I'm sorry for what I did to you. I shouldn't have screwed you over like that. I just…"

"You freaked out, Luke."

"But us…Now? We're doing really well, Lorelai. And…" Luke sighs. "If we take it slow, maybe we can start something up again…"

"If we do? I don't want to hurt Eva and Alex. I'm not going to lie. I've thought about it, too. But if we just go doing these things- it affects them. Every move we make, Luke- it affects them. I don't want to hurt them." He nods.

"Well, maybe…If we were to get together, maybe we would be serious and firm and together. Maybe we could get the thing we were thinking about. Maybe we can do this, Lorelai." He sighs.

"How do I know what you're going to do? It's been four years, Luke, and I'm still not over what you did, how you left me like that." Luke leans in closer to her, and Lorelai leans back.

"Don't you see, Lorelai? We've been doing this for four years, I've sacrificed everything for my kids. I gave Jess my diner, I moved away from home, and I haven't left Lorelai. I don't plan to, not without Alex and Eva, not without you." Luke takes her hand, her trembling hand. Lorelai looks into his eyes, and takes away her hand.

"I need something more than being 'sure.'"

"I'll see you next Saturday." She says. "Alex! Eva!" She calls out with fake joy. The twins come running up to her with a million toys in their arms. Lorelai walks from the apartment, looking back wistfully at Luke.

* * *

For the next three days Lorelai can't get Luke out of her head. When the twins are asleep, she drinks an entire bottle of wine one night. It feels good; it makes her light-headed and dizzy.

On Friday, work gives her a half day. She's relieved, she can spend the day with her kids. She finds a theme park and they both go wild. By the end of the day, all three of them are exhausted.

"Mommy! Mommy! Look what I got at the ring toss!" Eva shows her the teddy bear for a third time. Alex pulls a stuffed snake from his neck.

"Mine is better! SSsssssss…." He says, making sounds like a snake.

"Oh yeah? Roooaaarrroooooorrorrr!" Lorelai laughs.

"Suddenly I'm living with half the rainforest." Lorelai says taking their hands. Eva shakes her head.

"Nuh-uh…Bears live in places like ya-so-meat." Lorelai laughs a little.

"Yosemite?" Lorelai says.

"That's what I said." Eva's voice is soft, and almost wise. When they get to the door, Lorelai opens it, taking about five minutes to find her keys.

But when she walks in…There are picture frames everywhere, all with different pictures. There are only two people depicted in these pictures. Her and Luke. There are rose petals, and candles all around the living room, and sitting on the couch is Luke.

"Go to your play room, guys…" She says softly to Alex and Eva. "Go, go…" She can't believe it, she's still in shock.

"Lorelai…I know you need more… I want to be with you, more than anything. I want to raise our children more together. I want to try it again with you. I want to try us again." Lorelai opens her mouth to say something, but Luke stops her. "I know that you want more, and you don't trust that I'm going to stay, but I will." Lorelai smirks. She feels something, something that she hasn't felt for…five years. She walks closer to Luke, then sits on the couch.

"If we do get together, then… Do you promise you won't leave?" Luke nods and leans in closer. Lorelai smiles and leans in closer, too. "I mean…We can't screw our kids up, that's the worst thing we can do." Her voice is a soft whisper. Their lips are about to come together-

"Mommy! Daddy! Allllleeeexxxxx stole my pony!" Lorelai laughs and takes Eva into her lap, and Alex runs to Luke and sits in his.

"I didn't- I was just borrowing it. She had knots in her tail." Luke looks at Lorelai.

"We have two very funny munchkins." Luke says tickling Alex. Alex and Eva jump from their laps and run back into their play toom.

"So….Can we handle this? Together?" Lorelai says, leaning into Lukes chest.

"Yeah, we can." Lorelai looks up at Luke, she finally trust him. They can finally trust each other. It's all coming together, and it feels great.

_But darling, I wish you well  
On your way to the wishing well  
Swinging off of those gates of hell  
But I can tell how hard you're trying  
Just have that secret hope  
sometimes all we do is cope  
Somewhere on the steepest slope  
There'll be an endless rope  
and nobody crying._

* * *

Four weeks later, they make plans to move back to Stars Hollow. Lorelai convinces the Duram Group to sell her back the inn. Jess graciously gives Luke the diner, and he and Rory move in together in a brand new house.

Stepping off the plane, Lorelai thinks about how much her life has changed. She smiles at the grey sky Hartford has, because she knows like her ever-changing life, the sky will change too.


End file.
